I needed to get the “Stop Talking” phrase out there. The way my brain works is I need details on what things mean and how they connect. This is part of the protection process I have used to protect myself. If I can know the details, I can anticipate what might hurt me. In my mind in worked well. In reality, it did not work at all.
In my first blog, I introduced you to the name and some of the details about how the name came to be. I shared how out of my comfort zone the name was and how I argued with God for three years before I could accept, He was calling me to this. Today, I want to share more about the name and the logo.
You don’t use bad words. At least, not in public where people can hear you. The outward appearance of propriety must be maintained at all costs. If I had a company called Snappy Bitch, what would people think? I already know the religious zealots would be up in arms and call me a heretic for claiming that God called me to start a company with THAT word in the name. Three years ago, I would have agreed with them. Today, I do not.
The God that I serve is never under man-made rules of propriety. He is not sentimental in any way. He will have mercy on whom He will have mercy and He will have compassion on whom He will have compassion, (see Exodus 33:19). He told me He did not need my advice or direction to handle what He did. He has known from the beginning everything that was and is going to happen. This is from the beginning when He created until the end when He will consummate the wedding of the body to Jesus Christ. All of this planned before the creation of the world and with no request for my input.
I am also a toe dipper. I talk to people about the outlandish things God tells me. I use their reactions to help me figure out if I am off my rocker or hearing God. This is not a great method to decide if it is God speaking. Why? Most of the people I talk to are in the same religious boat I’m in. If it sounds too weird or uses THAT word, it can’t be from God. He doesn’t talk that way. Much agreement. The water was too hot. I must be off base here. Yet the name would not go away,
God works on me in unconventional ways because conventional would be too obvious. I sometimes miss the obvious. I had gone to make Cocoa Bombs with a friend one night. Snappy Bitch had really been on my heart and God was pressing me to listen. I mentioned to my friend about putting the snappy saying on shirts (they are coming, it’s a learning curve thing) and she, being a graphic designer, drew a simple picture of a logo on a napkin. That is the picture I used with this blog. And, I used the name. It was in print. Real. Crap!
I liked it. The problem now was, it was too simple. I thought, surely God is wanting me to have a glorious and beautiful logo for this company. I even asked another designer to draw up some logos for me. They were beautiful and expressed my heart. None of them resonated with me for the company. I tried and tried. I had variations drawn and pretty colors in them. I liked them all. And yet, none of them “fit”.
Enter my husband, the prophet. He sees in the simple logo what I could not. My heart is freedom, for me and those He calls me to minister to. The “brackets” were symbolic of the box I had put God in and, the castle I had built to protect myself, being pulled apart to allow my freedom. The jail cell of bondage was open. Being scared of all the negative things I dreamed would happen if I had a company with THAT word in the name, kept me in the box. Even though it had been opened, much like the veil to the Holy of Holys being ripped in two, it couldn't be real. God had opened the cell and I was too scared to walk out. Carr looked at me and said, “Your box has been opened. You need to decide if you are going to trust Him enough to walk in the freedom He has provided.”
Slammed. That’s the only way I can describe the feelings and emotions that welled up when Carr said that. No way! Not me. It’s too big. I can’t do it. Doesn’t God know who He’s talking too? Then he gently said to me, “Of course God knows who He’s talking too. He created you.” The tears flowed. For a long time. The relief was not only spiritual, but mental and physical was well. The dam burst, as folks like to say. I walked out of the “box.”