Whew, that Name

Hey y’all!  Good Monday morning.  Christmas is bearing down.  The pressures.  The family issues.  The friend issues.  What to buy for people.  The emotions.  Good and bad.  The expectations.  The dreams of Christmas’ of old.  No wonder Christmas is so stressful.  We have created a holiday monster.  Did I mention decorating? 

I love Christmas lights.  They bring joy to my heart.  So pretty.  So bright.  The work to put them up only to take them down some time after New Year’s.  Some folks even start undecorating the day after Christmas.  I wish Christmas lasted the whole year.  The lights give me hope in some way.

I am learning that this is a time to be thankful.  For me, it has been about getting and receiving gifts.  I know we just finished Thanksgiving and we are supposed to be thankful then.  On the other hand, Christmas for me has been all about the gifts.  Mostly about giving them but also about getting them.  I had so many rules about how gifting had to be.  I needed the gift to be a reflection of who I wanted to be to the person receiving the gift.  This meant the gift had to wow the recipient.  The person being thankful for what I gave to the person was important to me feeling good about me.

But really, I am seeing that living thankful myself is a way better place to be then dreaming of what I wish I could change.  When I quiet my mind from all the noise it loves to live in, I can see where being thankful aims me in a direction that is not entirely comfortable.  Weird even.  It feels strange.  I don’t have the emotional coat hangers to hang this on.  It feels out of place.  Not me.  Then it hits me!  I am stuck because the uncomfortableness of the new, makes me want to avoid it.  Battling my need to control my world for protection, the new is, most of time, my enemy.  Even when it’s good for me.  This battle is real.  For me.  It is one that I do not want to fight.  I do not want to deal with, what I not only don’t understand, but can’t control.  Yet it is this very thing that brings me freedom.

Guilt.  I don’t deserve to feel good things.  I don’t deserve freedom.  I know what I’ve done in the past.  I know what I battle now.  This goodness and freedom cannot be for me.  I have absolutely no trouble believing this goodness and freedom for you.  It’s what drives me in this company.  Your freedom. 

God gave me Snappy Bitch.  The company.  The idea.  Even the name.  Especially, the name.  So, I have a question for you, “What do you think or feel, and how do you react when you read or hear the name?”  It is a legitimate question.  Our religious teaching stipulates that God never breaks certain rules.  The word bitch is a dirty word in our society.  It has no place in religion.  None.  The number of times I have heard, “God would not say that,” would be enough to discourage me.  Except, He did.  He’s God.  He makes the rules.  It’s His universe.  He created it.  He does not need man to make sure He does it right. 

He gave the name.  I do not question why anymore.  I still try to figure out the reason behind it and I have many of my own theories.  I still use them to justify the name.  I still get uncomfortable sharing the company due to the name.  Whew, that name. 

I have felt the judgement of the religious zealots that have made it their mission to protect God.  The Pharisees.   I know how the woman caught in adultery felt.  Brought to a public place and judged by man’s ignorance of who God is and how He works.  Jesus did not condemn the woman.  He released her to freedom.  He has released me to freedom.

Why the question about the name?  Glad you asked.  It took me three years to believe that God would have me name a company Snappy Bitch.  Didn’t He know that word is unacceptable?  That it would turn people off?  It would alienate.  It would anger.  It would repel.  Then I remembered that He spoke to me during the name battle and said, “Some you will repel and some you will reach.  Focus on those you will reach and leave those who are repelled to Me.”  That is what this blog is about.  Those of you He is reaching through this frail attempt to share my journey of healing from the Great Physician.

I have battled making the logo smaller.  Even hiding it.  But He continues to speak to me, “My company.  My way.”  So, I will continue to be obedient even when it hurts.  People are good at hurting each other.  I believe I know why we hurt one another; we do this to make ourselves feel better.  It seems power has become our modus of operandi to raise ourselves above those we are most threatened by.  I hope most of you would like to purchase from me, but your fear of others and even your own religious code will not allow you to buy a product with the word “bitch” on it.

I want you to know I understand.  It took me three years to accept the name.  When I did accept, freedom came.  I can’t really describe that freedom.  I have heard the phrase, and said it myself, it felt like a semi-truck just pulled off my shoulders.  That’s when the tag line, “Let the conversation begin,” was born.  God gave me that name to begin a conversation with those who want to know Him, not just about Him.

If you haven’t noticed, we are talking about a lot of hidden beliefs and rules that we live by.  We are all wounded.  We hide the wounds.  Well, we try to hide them.  They are actually very visible.  People see them in the way we respond.  What we say.  How we act.  We believe we are hiding.  Reality?  Only in our own imagination are we hiding.  God always sees.  And He lets those He sends to speak to us see our wounds.  He cares more about our freedom than He does our feelings.

Be bold.  Buy some Snappy Bitch gear and get the conversation started.  We all need freedom!

Okay, bye for now.

Delisa (and Carr)